The Munkey Cometh

Just what it says
munkey
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The Munkey Cometh

Post by munkey »

Evening Boners,

So, I am the Munkey from the UK, Why the name? Well, I like to tell people the reason for the name is because I sit in trees throwing shit at people and mastrubating in front of your easily shocked, elderly relatives with the heart conditions. The real reason... suggestions are welcome.

So the reason I listen to Bones Lair while sinking a crate of dodgy English cider is mainly because of Nitesynth. DragonCon 09, there I am sat outside the Hyatt watching this tiny goth/punk/raver girl with a nice ass struggling with a kit bag twice the size of her, did I help? I gave her a smoke, then 30 minutes later, I am sat in the bar with her drinking 20oz glasses of cider like my life depended on it. 3 hours later, I have a very nice, sizable collection of empty 20oz glasses in front of me, walking is now getting a precarious procedure and the goth/punk/raver girl (who I now know is called Nitesynth) is getting cuter by the glass. Plus she has been laughing at the stories of me nearly amputating my penis while drunk, waving my junk at various z list celebrites and the 17.38 commuter train from London.

So, DragonCon conituned, and this Nitesynth chick keeps turning up. So between sexually harassing various girls and accidental traps I was coming across (literally at times, but thats another story), I see Nitesynth doing her street team bit for Bone's Lair, I wasn't paying much attention because #1 I was drunk or hung over or #2 I was wondering if the girl wandering around dressed as Cammy from Street Fighter took it up brown town, because it looked like the costume was ready to cut her in half. At some point candy underwear and phone numbers were exchanged with Nitesynth.

So in the days following DragonCon, the time I reserve for allowing my ass to heal and to let 6 days worth of alcohol to drain from my system, I get a text message from Nitesynth telling me she gave me a shout out on a podcast. So, being the arrogant fucker I am, I go listen. The rest as they say is a mind cluster fuck...

So, these days, the new podcast is loaded onto my iTunes, a grab a crate of beer, settle back and listen to news stories of rednecks jacked up on Crystal Meth using goat/horse pussy and anus to massage their phallus.

So in closing, following on from the Zombieland discussion, what celebrity zombie would YOU fuck?

Munkey - rupturing the himen of respectability in your mind with long deliberate strokes...
J.C.
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Re: The Munkey Cometh

Post by J.C. »

celeb zombie? Traci Lords or Sasha Grey maybe? It would have to be someone I've seen get fucked so I could compare the activity between human fucking and zombie fucking.

oh yea. Welcome to the forum. We declared horse fucking no longer funny this week.
Easily the best intro post on the site.
Don't play the drinking game. We are NOT responsible for any accidents, dumpings, divorces, or firings that occur over the substance abuse cause by our show.
"JC drunk is like 'hey lets hand this random guy a shotgun and see what happens'"
Nitesynth
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Re: The Munkey Cometh

Post by Nitesynth »

Easily the best one on here... lol that's awesome it makes me sounds good lol....er...I guess. :?
Bone
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Re: The Munkey Cometh

Post by Bone »

Zombie Celeb? hurm..... Jessica Alba

Great introduction!
Oh and tell us more about this story about this near penis amputation.
Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.
Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote! - Benjamin Franklin


Join my Music Revolution http://www.djbone.com
Nitesynth
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Re: The Munkey Cometh

Post by Nitesynth »

David Bowie as the Goblin King close enough right?
Bro-Scro
JC's Shit Pussy Ewok
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Re: The Munkey Cometh

Post by Bro-Scro »

Hey munkey, didnt i talk to you that monday? I'm pretty sure it was you...also did you happen to see that trap that was walking around showing off her dong to validate my story?
My right hand holds a vile of trainqualizers
My left hand holds a loaded .38
I've got a young girl who's anticipating romance
And now the only little love that's left is a loaded gun
Nitesynth
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Re: The Munkey Cometh

Post by Nitesynth »

Yes Munkey was one of my many "minions" I aquired at Dragon Con :-)
munkey
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Re: The Munkey Cometh

Post by munkey »

Nitesynth wrote:Yes Munkey was one of my many "minions" I aquired at Dragon Con :-)
YOUR minion??? I don't fucking think so young lady.

Bro Scro - Ahhhhhh so that was you on the steps on the Monday... Nope, I didn't see your elusive trap.
munkey
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Re: The Munkey Cometh

Post by munkey »

Bone wrote:Oh and tell us more about this story about this near penis amputation.
Ahhh well, that was my 21st Birthday party back when I had my Prince Albert. Well I was drunk and getting drunker, I had inappropriately touched the stripper, so I was off to a good start. So, someone gives me this helium balloon, with the nylon thread which is damn near indestructable. SO, being drunk and in a good mood I thought "Hey, I should tie this thing to the ring through the end of my dick!", yup one of those ideas that, while drunk, sounds hilarious. I tie said balloon to my penis, and every asshole and his mother and brother keeps pulling the damn thread, one girl pulled it so hard I swear she almost ripped the damn ring out. OK, so I have comes to my senses and realized this was not such a hot idea. I walk into the kitchen of this bar to privately untie this fucker, which is now impossible because the knot is tighter than a duck's bum in water. So I drop trouser, pop my penis on the chopping block and reach for the meat cleaver. One hand is holding my cock down and foreskin back while the other hand is brandishing a very sharp cutting utensil, I then proceed to try and cut the thread, which after the large amount of alcohol I had been drinking, was like trying to wrestle a pig in baby oil.

Safe to say I succeeded in removing the thread without changing my gender.
munkey
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Re: The Munkey Cometh

Post by munkey »

As for celebrity zombie fucking.. liking J.C's idea of pornstars. Caroline Pierce, Flower Tucci, Sylvia Saint, Giana Micheals and Sophie Dee would definately be in my zombie fuck list.

Jessica Alba... hrms, not so much.

Certainly celebs look dead already, so it wouldn't be much different from fucking them in their non zombie state (Helena Bonham Carter for example).

See, I was hoping for more creative and unusual responses. Could you combine zombie fuck with zombie kill of the week?

I shall think on this...
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